Cleveland Iguana News

In Depth News:

by Bruce Carter

Site Map
with story and page
descriptions
The F.A.Q.
Under development. Updated July 16, 2003
About the Author
coming soon
Credits
Iguana Care Sheet
Contributions
Suspect Profiles
Agents
Introduction (Begin)
About the Iguana Mafia
Prologue
Drunk Lizards
Dog Destiny
Iguanas and Yellow Labs
Stinker: Protective Custody
Stinker: Miracle Poo
Stinker Still Not Eating
File Photographs: Suspects
Stinker's Diet (Update)
Stinker and Zetekitoxin
Mystical Powers
Possible Iguana
Stubbie is Recruited
Email intercept by SnakeKing
CrimeLord Moving to Cleveland
CrimeLord Arrives in Cleveland
Sorath's True Identity
Garbled Wiretap
Matters for Consideration
Telephone Outrage
Iguana Mafia Raided
Sorath's Evil Eye
UV-Lamp Dealer
"Save a Cricket" Expose
More Iguana Mafia
coming soon

CIN (Cleveland Iguana News)

Local Charity Alleged to Have Ties to Cricket Cult

Saturday, August 9, 2003

by Investigative Reporter Bruce Carter

Many of our readers are familiar with the "Save a Cricket" Foundation, which has been instrumental in providing thousands upon thousands of young crickets worldwide with a better opportunity in life. For those who are not familiar with their work, Save a Cricket addresses the needs of disadvantaged and homeless crickets of all ages, by providing them with a variety of "cradle to grave" services, including adoption for pinhead infant and toddler crickets, foster home placement and shelter services for juvenile offenders and troubled youth crickets, and community housing opportunities for adult crickets in need. Save a Cricket is unique in it's comprehensive all ages approach, as well as being unique in it's sponsorship techniques. Prospective Cricket Sponsors must first agree to pay a small fee to the organization, and they also generally must have residing upon their premises either a reptile or an insect such as a tarantula. After these conditions are met, they next agree to provide housing for an unspecified number of needy crickets, and furthermore, they must recognize and provide opportunities for the continuation of the specific cultural and religious needs of their new housemates.

Save a Cricket has received considerable acclaim for it's approach and for it's emphasis on supporting diversity and cultural inclusiveness, and we will not deny that this organization has done a great deal of good in the community. However, there is more to the story than this. Here at the Cleveland Iguana News, we have uncovered a darker, more insidious side to Save a Cricket's actions. Specifically, we have learned that the Save a Cricket Foundation is in actuality a public arm of the dangerous cult, the Cricket Cult of Cthulhu, which itself has extensive ties to the underground criminal organization, the Iguana Mafia.

Much of the story is centered upon the activities of one Jennifer Kiz, a mantid who usually goes by the name Jenn. Deeply religous, Jenn is known for having dedicated her life and her considerable fortune to her charitable works. The independently wealthy Jenn is, to the public at large, a very gentle and personable socialite who sits on the board of a number of charitable organizations aimed at aiding and benefitting disadvantaged Cricket Youths, in particular the "Save a Cricket Foundation".

In her private life, however, we have uncovered evidence that Jennifer Kiz not only has strong connections to the Cricket Cult personally, but is in fact the Cricket Master, the ruthless and ambitious Hereditary Leader of the Cricket Cult of Cthulhu. Furthermore, the evidence we received suggests that the Cricket Cult is using the Save a Cricket Foundation as an instrument with which to attain the conversion of households worldwide to the Cthulhu Faith.

Our sources have also alleged that Ms. Kiz makes use of the rec.pets.herp newsgroup as a place in which to leave concealed and coded messages for Cricket Cult devotees, in a similar manner to the Iguana Mafia and Pothos Cartel, which we covered in recent news stories.*

In order to protect our sources, we cannot reveal the details of the evidence with which we were provided, but we assure you, our faithful readers, that not only was the evidence sufficient to convince me, Bruce Carter, of the veracity of the information, but it also was enough to convince me that Ms Kiz is also somehow connected to the Iguana Mafia, and may possibly be a confidante of Sorath.

More on this to come, in future articles.

*Editor's note: these articles are archived here:   CrimeLord Moving to Cleveland,   CrimeLord Arrives in Cleveland, and Iguana Mafia Raided .