The Cricket Cult of Cthulhu:

Mystical Powers of the Iguana

by Chaosmage

Site Map
with story and page
descriptions
The F.A.Q.
Under development. Updated July 16, 2003
About the Author
coming soon
Credits
Iguana Care Sheet
Contributions
Suspect Profiles
Agents
Introduction (Begin)
About the Iguana Mafia
Prologue
Drunk Lizards
Dog Destiny
Iguanas and Yellow Labs
Stinker: Protective Custody
Stinker: Miracle Poo
Stinker Still Not Eating
File Photographs: Suspects
Stinker's Diet (Update)
Stinker and Zetekitoxin
Mystical Powers
Possible Iguana
Stubbie is Recruited
Email intercept by SnakeKing
CrimeLord Moving to Cleveland
CrimeLord Arrives in Cleveland
Sorath's True Identity
Garbled Wiretap
Matters for Consideration
Telephone Outrage
Iguana Mafia Raided
Sorath's Evil Eye
UV-Lamp Dealer
"Save a Cricket" Expose
More Iguana Mafia
coming soon

As I understand it, when the Iguana closes its eyes, a quantum process occurs involving the "Iguana Observer Effect", and the human actually ceases to exist during the period in which the Iguana closes his eyes. The human does not notice this disruption in existence due to the human's lower status on the Hierarchy of Existence.

It is believed by some that the aforementioned power to shape reality by observation is related to the Iguana's Enlightened status, as evidenced by the visible Third Eye.

Devotees of the Enlightened Ones know them as the Great Bodhi-sattva Iguana-nandas, and recognize their true status as being equivalent to that of Cats, that is, they recognize that Iguanas are Supreme Beings, and humans are but their lowly Servants.

At times, the Iguana's pupils will dilate or contract. This is related to the Iguana's ability to shape and control reality and, by extrapolation, it's denizens. The dilation of the pupil is actually part of the process of Mind Clouding, during which the Iguana-ananada controls the very thoughts and actions of its Servant Human(s).

Some believe that f you want your iguana to see something clearly, you must show it to the lizard from the side rather than holding it directly in front of (the iguana's) nose.

An Iguana perceives only that which it chooses to perceive. It may, at times, deign to observe items which the Servant Human positions for it's consideration, but this choosing of observation is in no way related to the expectations or intentions of said Servant Human.

It is to be hoped, but not expected, that all Servant Humans to the Bodhi-sattva Iguana-anandas will attain a rudimentary understanding of the Truth of the Iguanas at some time in the distant future.

Chaosmage
Lowly Servant of the Maharishi Sorath Iguana-ananda.